we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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