Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
