So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
