My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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