OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
