Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
