see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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