So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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