Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's official drugs can't kill me
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am available for nakedness
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
