I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
