I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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