Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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