Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
