he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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