let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
