thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
