the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
