so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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