you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
