singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
