I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
too bad you live with your parents still
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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