Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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