I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
