Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
