Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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