i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
