I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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