i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
