Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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