Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My vagina just clenched in fear
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
