I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
