By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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