don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
