nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
