Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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