My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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