I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
