STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
