i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
