I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
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Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
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You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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