They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
