after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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