Yo dont text me then not text me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I party with great urgency now.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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