drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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