i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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