If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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