Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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