ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Me too!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
