hotel room ftw
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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