you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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