Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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