Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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