Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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