Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
