fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
