Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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