Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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