Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
