I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
