it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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