i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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