they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
