I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
